|First Day at School. . ..
||[Jun. 23rd, 2003|07:22 pm]
I hate you all, I hate ever one. why was I put in this hell, I hate you all.|
I was only a kid when hate came into my life. As far back as 2 years old. now at 28 I can still hear him calling me "Asshole". That was my fathers pet name for me, he would call out; "Asshole, get in here you little dick sucker!!"
My father would hit me with everthing an anything he could find. It didnt matter if I cryed. He would smile back at me as if that was his way of loving me. I was 5 years old when I first run away. I stayed out side until my mother came home at 11:30pm, I thought she would stop him from hitting me, I was wrong for thinking that. That next day was supposed to be my first day at school. I didnt get to go for all the cuts I had on my faces. I didnt start school until the next week.
I didnt talk much to any one. The first day of school I was shaking uncontrollably, I was confused. I was seeing kids my age that could talk perfectly like the kids on TV. I was not even there a hour, this boy name James Suttles came over to me and said "Hi, do you wont to play GI-Joe's?" I dont understand why I did it, I hit him as hard as I could in the face. He cryed so load. I run out of the room and out of the school to the store down the steet that my mother had stop at for gas on the way to school, well the guy in there know my mother so he called her at work. Later on I would find out that my mother and him was fucking.
So she came and took me back to school, all the kids was looking at me with fear, James mother was in the room, looking at me with the same hate my father hads in his eyes. I look back at her with the same look in my eyes. I could hear Miss Pees ask me "why did you hit him, did he do something to you?" I know its not funny, but I told her to; "Fuck off, ya no good cunt licker" James Mother's cover his ears with her hands and called me a evil child. My mother smacked me in the face. I didnt cry, I wanted to, but didnt want them to see me do it.
Mom took me to her mothers and dorp me off at the end of the road and told me to walk, that she had to get back to work. As she pulled off, I just set there at the end of my mom's mothers road and wished that someone would pick me up and take me away, I would do anything for them. Someone did come along. It was the mail men. He pulled up to the mailbox and said " Hi there, should you not be in school ya Eddies little boy arnt-ya?" I said I'm not anyones kid, he just looked at me then said; Okay if you say so, do ya wont a ride around with me then?" I didnt say anything I just walk over to him and he picked me up and set me in the back with all the mail. He told me he was going to stop some where and call my daddy and tell him I was with him, not to worry. I started to cry, " Dont call him, plez's dont call him!!" I put my arms around him and kissed him on the neck. He said "ok, dont cry, I wont call ya daddy."
I could feel his cock when he put me on his lap, it was hard. Unknowing why, I put my hand on it and moved it up and down, He didnt move, then he looked at me and smiled, I was with him all day. He would pull his cock out, its so odd, I know just what to do, as if this was why I was born. My first day of school became my first day of cock sucking.
The mailmen Tony took me home late, it was dark. He ask me not to tell anyone about what "I" did. I told him that I hope I would see him again, that maybe he could ask my mom if I could spand the night with him. He said he would ask them, he was one of my daddys friends from school.
After Tony had left, dad came into my room and put his hand over my face stoping me from getting air. I could feel my self above the bed, the next thing I could hear was my mother crying I was back on the bed bleeding from my nose. That night mom took me back over to her mothers and I stayed there a week. I didnt go to school, just set there watching TV with my drunk ma ma.